Shane Warne sightings, life bans for Game of Thrones spoilers and a ‘Save Sims’ barbecue featuring LA-based musical superstar Ben Lee – is the sudden appearance of the Sims Supermarket Footscray Facebook page just as the store goes into voluntary administration a little too good to be true?

 

Star Weekly investigates via a series of questions to the page that has quickly racked up more than 7000 followers:

 

What is the best thing about being Sims Supermarket?

Not only can you get absolutely everything, there’s also daily entertainment from our local dancer and other characters that make Sims one of the best supermarkets in the world. Act local, think global is out motto. We really put the “Super” in Supermarket.

 

Your other motto is “The Price Crusher” – when did you first realise you wanted to crush prices when you grew up?

When I grew up we had no internet or mobile telephones, so you just had to trust that you were getting a good deal on groceries and other household items. It wasn’t until my grandmother took me on road trips to Carlton and Coburg that I realised we really did offer the best prices in the world.

 

How do you maintain your impressive physique after all these years? Any moustache grooming tips?

It’s hard to say because I was born with a moustache. Those idiots in Northcote and Fitzroy building barbers for people with beards and moustaches –they’re a little late to the trend. I was born with facial hair and pretty much had a full time job crushing prices as soon as I could walk.

 

sims2

 

How do you compile your highly regarded in-store playlist?

Our uncle Frank is in charge of the tape player upstairs, and plays all the classics you can find on cassette.

 

Do you mind West Footscray people thinking you’re in West Footscray when you are not in West Footscray?

The great thing about Footscray and surrounds is that we’re all family and all in this together. We make people outside the west think that we’re all scary and rough, but we really just don’t want them moving in and opening overpriced cafés on every block.

 

How do you select your Employee of the Month and with what perks are they showered?

We let Karen do that, but she has been a little bit sick lately. Frank upstairs has a pretty good feel of the place, and to be honest – anyone that can put up with our dancing guy all day gets rewarded with praise.

 

sims4

 

Apart from Sims, what do you love most about the great suburb of Footscray?

Bulldogs, Powell Hotel and we think Timmy Watts is doing a solid job of maintaining our community spirit.

 

What’s your favourite late-night snack?

Normally we get stuck into the leftover potatoes.

 

You recently posted about a man outside the shop who had lost his friend Jason. Has Jason been found?

No comment.

 

Are people making enough effort to Save Sims?

Nope, that’s why we turned our social media presence up.

 

sims3

 

Who else are you hoping will appear with Ben Lee at the Save Sims barbecue*?

A local punk band called No Class and Grim Rhythm. Footscray bands only.

 

*(mythical)